A small town boy in the big city: Proof that no matter where we live, we can all build bridges
March 14, 2022 — HANNAH RICHTER
Jeffrey Coleman describes the suburbs of Philadelphia where he grew up as the type of “mainstream American suburb that you see depicted in films”. Less often depicted in films perhaps is Jeffrey’s Evangelical Christian upbringing. His formative years were spent attending church multiple times a week and reading the Bible daily. When he began grad school, he moved to New York City, and found permission to change his outlook on life, and the world in general. With first impressions of ‘big city life’ being that it’s “extremely loud and people talk very fast”, Jeffrey felt like he had moved to a new country.
With the current divisions in America, Jeffrey wasn’t wrong to feel so strongly about the differences between a small town and a big city. These differences are playing a big role in contributing to the polarisation the country faces, although Jeffrey believes this to be accidental. Whilst studying historical theology, he was trying to make sense of what he had learnt growing up, and what he was learning now. “Evangelical Christians don’t tend to look at history, they connect straight to the Bible and God’s inspired word, but in this programme, most people were kind of anti-evangelical. So here we are, talking about inter-religious dialogue and the importance of being open and accepting different points of view, but at the same time they were going too far and being really harsh towards the kind of society I grew up in.” As time went on, Jeffrey constantly found New Yorkers to be very open minded and wise concerning a number of things, but still somehow in their own bubble, against people from small towns.
“With first impressions of ‘big city life’ being that it’s “extremely loud and people talk very fast”, Jeffrey felt like he had moved to a new country.”
Jeffrey agrees that economic mobility is really important for a good life. Having the ability to move wherever one can find jobs and opportunities is often a necessity, but this move tends to be from smaller towns to the big cities. Jeffrey witnessed firsthand the struggles of moving to the city and leaving behind his suburban life. He understands that when someone moves and is busy with their new life and job, it can be harder to find the time to talk to people from back home, or even to visit. As Jeffrey’s life in New York progressed, he found he was able to talk about so many different topics with his new friends. But when he went back home, discussing topics he thought he had in common, like the environment or caring for your family, proved difficult, as “the words we used to talk about [the topics] reflected a hierarchy of values that are connected to politics”. And with their political beliefs no longer aligned, to them it seemed like he “had been brainwashed by city life”.
The small town versus big city divide results in people not addressing the deeper issues in America. Jeffrey feels that in the big cities, the people that have moved there can be ambitious, open minded, and proud of their work accomplishments, but “they neglect their families back home in the villages, and neglect their ability to see situations clearly despite the fraying fabric of society”. Meanwhile, “the small town people are keeping up the relationships with friends they grew up with, so they keep the fabric of their society together. But they're frustrated because of the economic mobility and other kinds of mentalities that America has about driving forward, they're frustrated that this means their towns are constantly losing the 20-somethings who only come back later in retirement, but certainly don't stay for their prime adult years where they could be really revitalising these places”. One example Jeffrey poses about the problem with the ‘driving forward’ mentality, is that we are left in a type of situation where we have ineffective public transport systems, but instead of investing in fixing this, we are investing in robot driven cars. Another opportunity for revitalisation would be the creation of multi-generational community centers where people can gather. Churches, bowling alleys, and rotary clubs serve a purpose similar to wifi-enabled cafes and co-working spaces – but what if these ideas were mixed, allowing a greater diversity of people to mingle?
A few years ago, Jeffrey decided to “escape the warzone” of polarisation in the US and moved with his family to France. Although the level of polarisation is extremely high in the US, Jeffrey believes that in Europe, we aren’t quite at that stage yet. There is hope: From Jeffrey’s perspective, Europe is in a better situation because we Europeans better remember our history and learn from it. We have more people active in society whose voices are heard, and these activists help hold others (including governments) accountable. When asked how we can continue on this path of preventing polarisation, he says we should not get so distracted from our everyday lives. “In the US, people often feel overwhelmed by bigger macro dynamics at play. People will pay more attention to news related to politics at the big party level in the US, rather than keeping up with their families [back home in the small towns]. If Europeans are able to use their time and energy to bridge gaps in their own local sphere of friends, if they can continue to remember the history and be inspired by that enough to take these kinds of actions, then I think Europe will be safe from becoming too polarised”.
“Jeffrey decided to “escape the warzone” of polarisation in the US and moved with his family to France.”
Jeffrey recently wrote a piece on escaping his echo chamber. He never intended to share his own story, he wanted to tell other people’s. But when he realised how hard it is for others to share, he thought rather than pressure them, why not see if he could do it himself. He also hoped that in talking about his own struggles, he could help others reflect on theirs and talk openly on these topics together, not only with a therapist, but also with friends. Jeffrey’s journey from growing up in a small town, moving to a big city, and then all the way to the other side of the world, allowed him to see the extent of polarisation in the US and in the world, and that can be discouraging. It was his empathetic nature that allowed Jeffrey to stay grounded throughout. “I am not just a bunch of data points with a perspective, I’m also a human who changes their mind and has evolved, and both parts of me are good. We need to remember that we are still people, that everyone is human, no matter where you are reading about them from”.
Image by Eddie Stok
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